I didn't remember the dreams I had as a kid. I went to school, and worked toward providing a better life for my family, but I am not sure I really visualized what that life would be.
I have been reading Running The Edge by Adam Goucher and Tim Catalano. Many of their statements have smacked me in the head, made me think, and evaluate how I look at my life.
For example, they wrote, "somewhere between the optimism of youth and the reality of adulthood, there is a breakdown. Sadly, many adults fail to achieve even an average life. They are shackled by the chains of incompetence long before they experience the course of normal. What causes this breakdown? How do people allow themselves to create lives that do not live up to their own hopes and aspirations" (Goucher & Catalano, 2012, pg. 74)?
"The problem is that over a ten or fifteen year span, we allow ourselves to very slowly settle for less than our ideal. Just a little less effort here and a little less determination there adds up over the years to a very average life" (Goucher & Catalano, 2012, pg. 75).
I think back and it makes me sad, but not for long. I don't spend a lot of time in the past. There are too many sad facts there. Too many tears, feelings of rejection, and inadquecy.
I have a new look at my life. I still miss Brady horribly when he is gone, but I don't live for him to be here anymore. I don't wait for the next event or issue to make me happy. I am happy. Now and today. I love my life and I know that I am worthy of living it to the fullest.
Do you remember your dreams? Have you worked lately to make them come true?
My kids have dreams. The dreams have evolved some, but they are so fun to hear.
Lucas used to dream of being a bull rider. He would jump around the house and pretend he was on the top of a mean, bucking, ton sized animal for eight seconds. He moved from that to the dream of being a vet.
Colby has always wanted to be a Marine. He has added that when he is finished being a Marine, he will be a professional wrestler. His current statements include that He WILL run Badwater, He WILL be the youngest 100 mile finisher in history, He WILL run until he dies.
Amelia has gone from wanting to be a mermaid to the most recent list is a spy on Monday, an artist on Tuesday and Wednesday, and a doctor on the other days of the week. She wants to run a marathon too. At Disney World. I can't wait to help make that happen.
Running has helped me realize my potential. My education, my faith, and the love of my family help too. I want my children to know they don't have to settle. They don't have to wait for opportunities to come to them. They can make their own. I can't help Mimi be a mermaid, but I can certainly give her the confidence and provide an amazing education so she can go to medical school.
2 years ago I ran my first half marathon and something broke inside me. It was doubt. My doubt was gone. I still feel it try to creep up when I tackle a new challenge, but the confidence and feeling I earned in that first 13.1 comes back and my heart tells me to give it a try. Fear fuels me toward that bigger, harder, higher challenge. Tackling that fear brings me peace. Beating that doubt makes me smile when the other things in my life are hard.
I can now look back at the little girl I once was and tell her that we did pretty darn good. We've found a life with people we love, amazing accomplishments, and success. What more could one ask for?
Running the Edge is about better running, but also about being a better you. If you would like to win an autographed copy of Running the Edge, please share either one of your own dreams or biggest fears in the comments section of this blog post. Make it public. Make it come true!
Of the comments I will pick one and that person will win the book! Ready? Go! (winner will be chosen Tuesday, September 25th at 8:00 pm PST.
Goucher, A. and Catalano, T. (2012). Running the Edge (revised edition). Maven Publishing.
Shawna - thank you. Such a good reminder. I need to dream more... and be more content with the present. You'd think a cancer dx would be all a person would need to push to fill more dreams - and it did, some - Hawaii (not once but twice in a year) - more trips and time with my family - but somehow you lose that drive as life become more peaceful again (thank God it did) - And I thank you for the reminder - to live each moment fully, happily and reach for the stars! :) Love you friend!
ReplyDeleteStacey, I think it is probably normal to be happy to find comfort in each day after what you have been through. Now that you have been comfortable and satisfied for a while, find a new passion and go light a fire under yourself :) Love you and miss you!
DeleteGreat blog Shawna. Thanks for reminding us to never stop dreaming.
ReplyDeleteBiggest fear: When my time has come, looking back on my life, wishing I had been a better man, and asking myself, "why didn't I . . . do more!". More living, more loving, more helping others, more risking, more pushing beyond the limits - every single day.
Biggest dream: When my time has come, having people look back on my life and saying, "that was a great man, that man . . . did more!". More living, more loving, more helping others, more risking, more pushing beyond the limits, every single day.
I love it Ed. I think many would say you give a lot more of yourself than most. Thanks for who you have been for Team Wentlandt!
DeleteSuch a good writer Shawna!
ReplyDeleteIm so glad I stumbled across your blog tonight. I have completed 15 half marathons and in 20 days im forging onto my first full marathon. I am scared but exactly what you said about doubt will ring in my head the whole race!! To run a marathon is my dream. Just shortly over a year ago I could not even run a half mile. I have proven myself and my doubt that It can be done! I would love to read this book to inspire me more!
I love that! Thank you so much for sharing. That 26.2 will change your life! Please come back and share your story with me after you finish! If you want to read about my first 26.2 journey, it is on this blog from June, 2011. I am excited for you!
DeleteBiggest Fear - To fail as a parent, a friend and a family member. To fail the people that I love the most in their time of need. Not realizing what they needed until it was too late. Not telling someone I love them as often as I should.
ReplyDeleteDreams - I have so many. Some likely nearly impossible - seeing the earth from outer space. Others likely attainable - running a 100 mile race, someday owning my own farm and raising my kid(s) to understand the beauty of this planet and life, helping others to live life to the fullest or improve how they do live life, someday learning to take one of those cool pictures of a drop of dew on blade of grass.
Thank you so much! I relate to your fears completely. Especially failing as a parent. Something I think of often. When you take that picture, be sure to share it with the rest of us :)
DeleteAdding a comment for my friend Tracy Cohen-Peranteau:
ReplyDeleteMy Dreams and My Fears.....
Dreams: I have been so blessed to have started running at age 40, and to have accomplished 38 marathons, 10 Half Ironmans, 5 Full Ironmans, a 50K, a 50 miler, a 100 miler, and to have biked from SF to SD - all while being a single mom, working full time, raising two kids, with no family support. Mentally and physically, I get stronger every year, and my dream is to continue to get stronger. I want to continue to motivate and encourage those who don't believe they can - because my mantra is: "every one can take one step." And that step can become two, three, four steps.....until we reach our goal...whatever it takes!
Fears: That something happens to me physically which prevents me from enjoying the passion of running. I have grown to rely upon this as daily consumption. I've never drank a cup of coffee, but I understand those who NEED their fix - cuz that's me! What if this was no longer an option? Would I be able to be the mother, teacher, motivator, and full of life woman that everyone knows me as? That is my fear!